Addy has no job again, but he also has no cancer. The guys admit that they actually hate their own show. To all the A&G haters, Addy assures you that he is the biggest non-fan of the show. “I don’t really like The Addy and Gabe Show. Never have, probably never will.” So there. Addy thinks he was let go because his previous employer thinks he has the newly discovered Cancer-AIDS. “I finally hooked my Xbox up to the internet.” Everyone should buy Dick Van Patton’s cat food. “I threaten to kill Danni all the time. I never threaten to kill the cat.” Facebook is “nerd social.” Addy shows his love for the audience by cutting off a long promo. (Thank you Addy.) A video game discussion invokes the wrath of Damon. Like so many working Americans, Gabe is amazed when he hears unemployed people talk about going on vacation. Gabe finds Addy’s note-taking to be insane.
Archive for September, 2010
Due to intestinal distress, Addy is forced to call in to his own show. Gabe tells him not to push. “I constantly feel like I am full of shit.” Gatarz calls in to help out while Addy deals with things. Splitters fix everything. Real Americans wash their hands. How do vampires deal with menstruation? “Babies are pretty stupid.” Listeners, do yourself a favor and don’t fast forward through this break, like you usually do. Someone is a genius with the sound clips. Addy cannot handle the incredible undeniable awesomeness of cable internet. This understandably angers and frustrates Gabe. “You need fucking therapy!” They finally get to the heart of the matter. Addy gives a shout-out to Rob and Oreet. Against his better judgment, Gabe talks about his space pod. Apparently it works better than Ambien. Gabe and Danni are smart to have separate sheets. “Sleep is serious business.” News highlights include a racist man with a stick, and a drunk tow truck driver.
The best way to celebrate doing 100 shows is by running the very first Addy and Gabe Show, back when they were trying to decide what to call the show. Damon says this show is the number two show on the NHB radio network. Welcome to the NHB 2010 telethon! Super E calls in to confirm his alive status. The name Gabriel means “devoted to God.” “Damn right!” confirms Gabe. Mr. Gatarz shares some of the details of his breakup from NHB. Angry Damon calls in to yell at the guys. “We will stop doing a show for a donation of 200 dollars!” Time for a break for some meandering testimonials. Gabe’s super lady Danni drops by to donate a big old bag of porn. (Quality of content not guaranteed.) Addy loves when the movie titles describe exactly, in great detail, the content of the movie. Then there are titles like “Belladonna is Cock” that create more questions than answers. “If you don’t buy that porn, you are never going to know where those surfers are going to go.” Gabe is quite the shill. Now let us listen to some more testimonials. Do blind people have trouble getting past the DVD menus on porno movies? Is the worst part about being blind having to live with your parents? “It’s funny because he is blind.” Surly Damon calls in to clear things up. “Give me the black guys.” Will Gabe eat some bacon soap for a 25 dollar donation? Spoiler alert: Yes. “It won’t come off my teeth!” Of course, THIS is the one thing Damon finds funny. “My mouth is burning.”
Addy has a new job! Blind people can do all sorts of things, except tell you the color of a Rubik’s Cube. “I don’t think I have seen The Big Lebowski.” And with that sentence, Gabe can only say, “Wow!” AOL is kept in business by five million dial-up users, all of which are apparently of retirement age. “What does The Haven really sell?” Chips and soda, of course. Gabe never made the plunge into the land of comic books. The fact that Danni is a zombie snob is just another reason why she is a catch. “I got cancer for nothing! What a waste.” Welcome to Meat Powered Radio. “Give me your bag of gloriousness.” Johnny Gabers (and not Gators) is master of the bags of crap and is not at ALL bitter. Time for the testimonials. Playing clips of good old Tom over some music is goddamned brilliant. The guys dig up the show that features drunk Tom, quite possibly one of the most brilliant pieces of audio ever on the internet. Gabe attempts to explain modern video games to Addy. Gabe is disappointed that Leisure Suit Larry did not have ATM. Addy is the only person on the show who is familiar with legendary actor Dennis Quaid.