Archive for November, 2008

Episode #89

Tuesday, November 25th, 2008

Addy prefers using butter when using the back door. Just be careful if you smell bacon. The guys give the new Guns N’ Roses album a listen. It is decided that if Addy dies, Gabe will take Addy’s place, Tom will take Gabe’s place and the toaster will fill in for Tom. The guys reflect on the true meaning of Thanksgiving, which has something to do with Jesus and casinos. Addy may or may not have enabled cookies. Gabe hates updates, which is weird because everyone knows that all updates bring happiness and prosperity. A guy with a pressure washer calls up to explain how great of a weapon one of those things can be. Gators calls up and does not want to pressure washer his luck. Super E is unable to call the show from the battlefield. Apparently the military now use pits of sharks to train soldiers. Super E calls in, but he has no jelly donuts. “Hey Danni. Fuck you.” Gabe reminds us what women really want. Time for a break, so get your dirty feet off of my back. When the guys come back from break, they give another listen to Chinese Democracy, which is, as Gabe calls it “not bad.” Addy recommends 30 Rock to Gabe, and that is a wise recommendation. Addy likes to sing.

Episode #88

Tuesday, November 11th, 2008

Gabe is working on his beard and his teleportation ability. Neither is going very well. Addy says, “Tonight we will be crossing the streams.” And we all know what that means. Addy bets Gabe one billion dollars that Gabe sucks at networking. Addy says that he is almost always right, but nobody listens to him, and that is generally a good idea. “We give at least… 30 seconds of high quality entertainment a week to the listeners here, and that adds up!” It’s always nice when Gabe puts things in perspective. Damon calls in to say, “The Addy and Gabe Show, the Jews of the network” and “You’re funny.” Then everyone but Tom yell at each other for awhile. We find out that Damon has a broadcasting degree. Gabe finally asks Addy, “Why are you such a dick?” Gabe decides that once Addy is fired, he will do The Gabe Show. Thirty minutes into the show, Gabe does the upbeat introduction. Gabe wants to fight everybody now that he swings a sword and wears armor. The guys imply that there are non-seedy parts of Frederick. Gabe explains the intricate details of getting a concussion. Tom wants to use his car to fight people. Gabe speaks about his time spent playing Fallout 3. Addy only plays Unreal Tournament 2004. The guys wonder if Super E is alive, and if he has had his tuba replaced with a rifle. Some listeners say that real men play UT99. Others say real men get real jobs so they can buy recent games. Rob is coming to town for pizza, because Las Vegas apparently only serves gambling chips. Gabe says, “I wish our listeners could speak English.” He feels the same way about his loving girlfriend when she types. Now a break for loud music and smoking, and A&G’s understated promo. Addy explains to Gabe why it is good to be organized when you have a podcast. The guys discuss their ideas for the “Addy and Gabe” tattoos. Danni calls in to tell them how special they are. The guys wonder if incest is illegal. Addy has difficulty pooping in public bathrooms because you get no privacy in them. He also reminds us that everybody’s poop smells. Let it be known that Tom and Addy are not the only two people that need privacy when pooping. Gabe tells us about his brother, Peter, and how close he is to going to jail. The reading of the shows seems to involve a lot of “Are they still alive?” moments.

Episode #87

Tuesday, November 4th, 2008

McCain was born before the states were united. Gabe was going to vote for Obama, until the break dancers showed up. Obama sounds like The Rock. A caller voted for the AIDS party. Gabe voted for the prohibition party. (Go look at www.prohibition.org for some laughs.) Text message from the Obama campaign says “Obama is dead…. dead tired of John McCain trying to rig this election!” Those wacky darkies. If McCain loses, he is going to let fly with the N-word, then die on stage. Gabe likes to think of Obama as half white. Addy pronounces the S in Illinois and still fails to pronounce the L in wolf… how cute. Break time! Addy’s leftover Halloween candy tastes salty. Damon calls to bust balls and be paranoid. Addy says that no matter who gets elected, your life will most likely not change, especially if you are as rich as him. Gabe advises McCain to put on his black-face makeup. Gabe loves pirated Fallout 3 (aka the future). Gabe wants the other shows on NHB to play Press Your Luck.