After a quick flashback, it is discovered that another show is on the stream. We learn that a kitty meowing can make anything seem funnier. Addy had the pleasure of going to a bar with a female friend and her father. Photoshop Master calls in to remind us that teenagers are masters of nothing. Gabe hopes to one day get past his sexual urges. (He should get married! Oh, buh zing!) Gabe tells the story about his close encounter with a bear. Tom calls in to the show he is on to try to win 5000 dollars. White Ass Brent calls in to not win. Break for “Used to be a Man.” The guys spend some time going over their favorite songs. Gabe’s brother is not surprisingly going to jail. Did you know the woman singing on that new Justin Timberlake song is actually Justin Timberlake? I know, weird, right? The guys discuss a very dubious list of television show. Time for the guys to read the shows, then take their kitten and go to Lito’s.
Archive for July, 2008
Let’s start off with some pre-show drinking. Gabe’s five-second dilemma: The Haven or Self-improvement? What does he do? (Hint: Frederick Community College is still short one Italian guy). Gabe claims Addy is a mean person. Tom is drinking, which makes Gabe funnier. Today’s lesson: Do not search for “ass to mouth” on Pornotube.com, unless you are okay with the gay. Note to guys trying to show they are not gay: Screwing women does not mean you are not gay. “Hey, you like… penises in your butt and stuff?” asks funny drunk Tom. Time to discuss why they were absent for so long, which meant I had nothing interesting to write about. Addy uses the term “Chatty Cathy” and everyone wonders why. Break time for the rap then… The Golden Girls. We find out Tom can eat ice cream, smoke and hold a tissue to his bloody nose at the same time. Tom then tells the sad tale of his broken heart. “I prefer number two,” says Gabe. Apparently, the love of Tom’s life… thinks he is gay. “Trying is the first step towards failure,” says Gabe. Tom really opens up about how women prefer men who treat them like crap and toss aside the nice guys because women are basically stupid. Danni calls to bring levity to Tom’s bitterness. This is the funniest, saddest tale of love and loss ever on this show. Cue “The Lonely Man.” Tom’s half-sentences, stuttering, mumbling and stumbling are quite amusing. Tom continues to swear, cry, say racist things and try to smoke a cigarette at the wrong end. Addy can only say, “Wow.” And so we come to the denouement, as Tom throws up almost an entire bottle of Black House. Tom, buddy, we hardly knew yee.