Nothing like porn to get an internet radio show started right. There was no show last week because Addy and Gabe were in the Bahamas and Tomnick was having his penis replaced with a gaping hole of evil. Tom gets technical about his fictional atlas. The guys help a wayward teen with his problems. Underage people should not declare their sexuality. At 16, we know nothing. At 30 we still know nothing, but we know it. Hence the drinking. Gabe says gay is a choice. Addy says lesbians are never depressing. (Gabe thinks his Rob was calling in, but it was not me.) Technical issues anger Addy. Techpepsi won’t hang up. After the break, a question is posed: Why do people think Addy and Tomnick are gay? Some possible reasons: the hand holding, actually listening to what women say, singing to each other, the butt sex and ass-less chaps. Time for a break. Brian the Dog yells at a woman. Firefox is bloated crap. AOL used to fit on a floppy. As an IT guy, Gabe responds well to oral bribery. Addy tells a sad but non-gay story about almost getting laid. Shaggy calls in to discuss marrying a much older woman and the dangers of younger women. Another break. Gabe demonstrates how to clean his pipe. The always droll Damonbot shows up to finish off the show.
Archive for April, 2008
Gabe gives a riveting wrestling-style intro. Addy wants to take a class with Gabe. Super E is still alive. Today’s Lesson: Use the AK-47 when in combat. The guys talk about being male strippers and the NHB audience collectively throws up a little in their mouths. Gabe does not have friends, he has chauffeur. Shaggy calls to talk anal. Time to play Guess the NHB Quote. Break time for a catchy country song. “Don’t interrupt me.” Time to talk DC radio. Greaseman is still back, Don is gone. Addy apparently drives like my wife, because he backed in to a parked car. Also, Addy “prances.” Addy is too good at his job. Addy is now Lord of the Principality of Sealand (or perhaps C-land?). Let’s take a break to learn English. Back to the show with groping of implants. The racist Super E calls in to cheer. Gabe discusses The Haven, where pipe tobacco smoking is hip. Gabe actually gets on the cam to demonstrate how to smoke a pipe and Super E shouts, “Holy crap, that’s what he looks like!” He is obviously blown away by his sexiness. “I can see why the ladies love you,” he says without a hint of sarcasm. Apparently smoking relaxes people, even though nicotine is a stimulant. Interesting. Vivaldi makes smoking a pipe seem all the classier. Addy has a new game called Births or Deaths. Danni calls in to show how smart art students can be. One more break, then crack, then back. Let’s talk verbal crutches. Addy’s daily debate: #2 or #3? Jews love Gabe because he looks like a rabbi. News time. A duck named Circles gets order of protection after attack. Reason why there is no God: Mitch Hedberg is still dead. Damonbot is back to help read the NHB shows. Michigan is full of poor people with towels on their walls.
Skype is written by those other Jews. Kenny is still alive. Andy from NHB had his large intestine removed. Damon calls to inquire about Gabe’s failing “career” at NHB. Damon fails at using Vista. The guys reflect on how far they’ve come in the last year of internet radio. Danni tells the story of her brain bleeding troubles at the hospital in the ghetto. Life lesson of the day: Have health insurance. Medical fact of the day: Gay people have acid for blood. What not to say while in a deserted hospital: “This place is dead!” Break time. This just in from Damon: Addy is a dick! It’s time for… Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll! Today’s letters: M, Q, K, F and D. Gabe tells the tale of The Return of Doug Tracht! Yes, the Greaseman is back on DC101 and he is still funny to 12 year olds. Gabe shares a clip of the Grease that basically sums up his entire career of excellence. Super E calls in hoping the guys can ruin another relationship for him. Danni may be part Jew. Super E plays Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll with Danni and the letter J. Time for a second break. The guys get into some serious radio talk, including: Don Geronimo retiring, the imminent failure of The Mike Omeara Show, calling Liddy back in the day, the Peter and Tom Gavin retard spelling bee, attempting to get mentioned on Don and Mike via Tom Gavin, the violent racism of the Greaseman, Addy’s terrible Greaseman impression (despite what Tom says), the Sports Junkies are terrible (even if you like sports), Elliot in the Morning has a terrible laugh… and most importantly… the eventual move of this show to real radio! Scared, kids? Addy was fired from one of his jobs, and he still makes more than everyone in the room. Damonbot(tm) (my new name for the Damon clips) helps read the shows.