The Addy and Gabe Show

Gabe registers “www.rapemail.com.” Gabe plays EQ2 to hang out with his friend Rob from Vegas (Editors reminder – That’s me.). Gabe hopes to visit Vegas so he can get some hot in-person EQ2 action with Rob. Rob plays a female elf character. Larry King Asks: Why? Answer: Too much lizard tail. Bill calls in with some Vegas trip ideas and to offer up his wife to Gabe. Don’t mess with Bill Gates, he will give you AIDS. Don’t use a Mac, you will get AIDS. If you use Linux, you are poor and should get a real job. In the future, robot women will have a bit mute buttton on the back of their heads that you have to slap to get her to shut up. Break time. “Bitches running wild, man.” Now it’s time Love Gabe! Gabe will attempt to answer questions from listeners. Gabe will make copious use of the C-word. The segment should be renamed “Gabe Hates on Women.” This bit turns out to be so foul, I am legally not allowed to transcribe any of it here. However, it may also be one of the funniest things ever featured on this show. Danni calls in to approve, reminding us she is a good woman (one of the few left out there). Gabe loves punching animals in the face in EQ2. Break time. American Psycho clip upon return. “Is that a raincoat?” Reading letters on the radio from listeners has been done since, oh, 1860? News! Maryland bans smoking in public places. Damon calls in to complain about Gabe’s answers. Man struggles to return from the dead in Poland. Pot Dispensers in California makes life more enjoyable. Gators calls and Addy’s heart is aflutter. SATELLITE CRASHING TO EARTH!!! Sound effects ensue. Teenagers throw fruit! Wow, because kids never screw around. Robin Williams is terrible. Wrestling news that makes Gabe and teenage boys moist. Gabe offers an apology for his advice.

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George W. Bush lies about The Addy and Gabe Show. (GW: Great president… or the greatest president?) Koreans eat sand and wash it down with tears. Gators has many fans in politics. Guitar Hero: fun for a solid 15 minutes. Gabe has been playing EQ2 and Diarrhea Hero lately. Gabe will be attempting meat loaf. What these guys need is a woman that can cook, clean and take a right hook. Wii’s and PC video cards are hard to find. Sleep is awesome. Addy will be working two full jobs, taking classes and doing this great internet radio show. Is it possible to do less than zero show preparation? Sad Single Super E calls in. He will be getting some “Not Anthrax” mail from NHB when he joins the Army. The secret is out: A&G’s Myspace picture is not A&G! Super E will be bunking with Sgt. Fury. They get Super E’s terrible mom on the phone. Break time for songs with yelling that Addy likes. Borat clip upon their return. Time to call Governor of Maine, John Baldacci, to get Gators out of a ticket. Gabe begs him in Italian. “Si! Es no Lasanga? Yo Quero meatballs!” Nice work. Since Gabe has already played for the Redskins, now he will be applying for coach. The phone message chick sounds hot. Yeah, I’ll leave you a message all night long, baby. Gabe can be coach because he knows how to yell at black people. “Joining the Army” is always the wrong answer. Addy saw Cloverfield with his daugher and without Gabe. Lots of spoilers here, but the movie sounds dumb anyway. The Jew talk starts and its not long before they’re ready to send them to camp… they need help concentrating. So anyway, Cloverfield had a monster. It should have had Ultraman, Voltron, 300 Spartans and Zombies. Think about how awesome that would be while they go to break. Nicholson yells about women upon return. Danni calls to check in with her sexy voice. Jim tries to use Skype. Everyone’s middle name is Tiberius. Jack Napier is apparently dead. Tom and Jim get gay. Now the Nino Greasemanelli news round up… wiener poopie, stolen Jesus, college courses for beer, Jim’s sack, Jesus is real, sex with bitches causing debt (yes, it’s called “marriage”), Vietnam ratsnakes siezed, hot POA blonde teacher batters teenage male student (hot!). Gabe introduces his Excuse Generator (www.froody.net/excuses). I would write more about this show but… My knees hurt.

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People are already calling in for jobs and watermelon parties. Jim calls in to get political. You are always taking a risk when farting, because you never know what will come out. “I will be here as long as my ass can take it,” assures Gabe. Remember folks, sports are more important than war, death and poverty. Gabe tells his classic “World’s Most Dangerous Snake” story, his first official reuse of a bit from his “Cassette Radio Show” days. Ah, good times. Gabe is still sad about Steve Irwin. Yelling black man, played by a white man, calls in. Everyone has slept with Marylin Manson. Gabe’s fisting story keeps coming up on the show, which leads cleanly into the fart sound effects. “I like hookers,” says Tom. Now it’s time for promos from a guy that still thinks tossed salad jokes are funny. Dodgeball clip as they return from break. Gabe’s new girlfriend Danni listens and she even calls in! She is a good sport. A new Jim calls in, they call him James for the sake of clarity. Addy tells tales of old friends and bad jobs. Super E calls in to confirm he is still alive… for now. Gabe misses The Greaseman. Time for the second break. Did you know Jesus is real? Back with an American Beauty clip about firebombing. Now the news! Johnny Gators calls to thank them for all the promo plays. No that’s not the news. Referee pulls out a gun… with bullets! Blind man predicts cyclones. How? He feels the wind, duh. Super E’s girlfriend wants him to go in to the military so she can cheat on him and inherit his life insurance money. Listening to A&G at work will get you some attention. Super E gets gets dumped by that girl that was going to cheat on him anyway. Addy’s dating advice: “It’s all about confidence and how big your dick is.” True! Man eats girlfriend then tells the police about it in detail. He boiled her ear because she just would not listen. Boss fires staff for not smoking. Motorist survives fall off bridge, but dog that goes after him goes squish. Tourist stranded in Everglades. Fun with new Damon clips (always classy).

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Addy & Gabe fill in for Kenny Kane, Michael and the other guy who hosts TIOLI (www.nhbradio.com).

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The 23 minute episode that starts out really well and dies horribly.

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