“You exhaust me.” Why do people call in when they aren’t listening? “Boobs are great.” We will all be dead in 40 years. “So Obama, with the gay!” “Women also have butt holes.” Addy and Gabe read literature. “Speaking of DVDA, Gabe…” How much to blow a horse? “Why does it always have to be so gay?”
“Why are we here?” Gabe has Popeye forearms. Gabe shows everyone the way to the beach. Why can’t military people go anywhere without wearing camouflage? Fat people have strong legs. Gators still has a clusterfuck of a show. Why are airports stupid? The terrorists have won. People should use the honor system on the internet. Addy almost lived in Amsterdam. Gabe went to Florida. If you want to get laid, don’t be a pussy. Women constantly run out of gas. What is the shleeme? McDonald’s will put anything into a McFlurry.
“Forty four more shows to go.” Do we have too much information? Remember when a person needed to be intelligent to use a computer? Remember when Danni was 14? Gabe was an AOL pimp. What should you not say to a person with cancer? Peter’s girlfriend has breast cancer and fabulous breasts. Plastic gives people cancer. Gabe eats retard breakfast. Gabe might be attracted to certain muscular men. Visit the racism museum and buy a t-shirt. Parents give children too much freedom.
What is with the creepy music just before the upbeat introduction? Gabe hates Pearl Jam. Tomnick is on the phone from Hubbard, Ohio with a broken truck. Addy’s car doesn’t work today. He doesn’t know what it says. Gabe respects the automobile dealer. Technology is stupid on TV. Forge continues to not die. Who has the winning lotto ticket? Hospitals kill people, so why bother? “God, I’m not funny. I’m not fucking funny.” Black women smell different. Babies are stupid assholes. Women are still not funny. “Why does this show always go back to rape?” Danni is very happy to hear from Tomnick. Gabe is a defender of gay rights in public.
Do space stations have internet? “Aliens have micropenis.” “I’m having trouble with the eggs. I don’t want to talk about it.” In order to have a perfect body, you have to be a gay man. “Maybe I’m gay.” “And I too can have sex with men.” The Trayvon Martin case does not make sense. “Shoot Johnny Gators.” In the news, a blind man drives to Taco Bell. 3D televisions with glasses are stupid and pointless. What does the future hold? Tune in next week for Tomnick live in studio!
Is the show introduction too complicated? Gabe does not bother himself with details. Addy requires too many details. Gabe really wants a new job that involves filling out paperwork. Addy is headed to the beach in March. Can Gabe do well in a fake interview? Gabe hopes to one day go into business for himself. Job hunting is awful. The dead black kid story that the guys discussed two weeks ago is now national news.
Damon wrote a homoerotic rap song about NHB. Dresses are very comfortable. Gabe has a new diet that has something to do with time travel. “I can shove some food down my face!” Exercise in not efficient. A black kid gets shot in Florida. “It’s like saying he has a Jewish nose.” Addy hates money in video games. ”He’s barely a human being.” Damon calls in to yell and be fat. Everyone wants a quad-cheeseburger. Does Rob’s wife have a penis?
Addy has no patience for reading things. Gators is unable to fix Addy’s settings. Addy yells at a Scottish caller. Americans know absolutely nothing about the rest of the world. Addy tells the story about how he breezed through a class about fractions. Is a kilt a skirt? Addy disagrees with facts. Canadian politics works like politics in Star Wars. Addy and Gabe cancelled their SWTOR accounts, and Rob is sad. Gabe explains how to ruin someone’s day in EverQuest. Thailand: where the women are women and the men are too. Professor Bill and Big-breasted Lisa call in with their radio schtick. “We’re two steps away from killing each other.” Remember when Gabe was mistaken for a child molester? “We were not gay together.” Religion stems from a desire to not get raped.
Gabe does the opening in Simmish. Damon sends out a strongly-worded email about his vision. “Can the rest of you?” A Canadian caller does not like Bryan Adams. Gators calls in to clarify syrup brands and not much else. Addy made the mistake of letting a woman buy something. Where do diseases come from? “I think Jesus made AIDS.” Has a human actually had sex with a monkey? It took 150 shows to finally get to the animal rape. How awesome is Rick Santorum? Gabe gets angry about stupid people.
On a very romantic episode, Addy and Gabe discuss appropriate gifts for Valentine’s Day. Tomnick calls in from Idaho (where potatoes come from). Who would win in a fight: bee or spider? What exactly is a wasp? Gift-buying is complicated. Gabe loves The Lube Station. Addy has a lot going on. How does one handle a barking dog? Addy reveals his choice for president in 2012! What is an appropriate outfit for a dead fetus? What is the future of birth control in America? How does an intelligent person make sense of ridiculousness? Why are some people gay? Why do gay people sound so gay? What is the gayest show on NHB?
